Why People Seem Crazy
By Leo Gura - June 19, 2017 | 20 Comments
A new model for how to make sense of people.
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Joe says: Your videos would be better if you cut to the chase a bit quicker; if you start with the crux of what we’re going to learn and then give examples and supporting information. A lot of your videos seem like you’re rambling on; telling us how stupid we are. I don’t always want to listen to the whole thing.
me myself I says: Personally I love Leo’s rambling style, it’s kind of his trademark thing and it’s very cool.
Everything in this internet world doesn’t need to be short snappy sound bites marketed at pleasure seekers with short attention spans.
I really appreciate that Leo takes his time to properly explain his topics in detail, and often I think it actually is appropriate to keep repeating and emphasizing certain key points at great length.
Austin says: I agree. It was his conversational and rant like format the got me interested and keeps me coming back. If it was just shot bullet points I think a lot of the nuance would be lost.
Goran Vinko says: Yes. In depth detail seems therapeutic.
Brian says: Joe, your reply is a bit ironic when you consider the nature of the video itself as you are assuming that what would suit you in Leo’s videos would suit everyone else. The only conclusion I can come to is that the video was so long for you, you didn’t watch it all, and went to find a different video to watch and therefore solved your own problem!
Joe says: Lol. I didn’t intend any disrespect and I acknowledge my comment went directly against the open-mindedness Leo advocated. I can see that many people feel inspired by Leo to express themselves as freely and authentically as he does. Maybe they were the ‘auditory learners’ in school who disliked the textbook because it was too simple and too well organized.
In 5th grade, our teacher gave us a short-hand explanation for how to write. She said: “tell ’em what you’re gonna tell ’em, tell ’em, and then tell ’em what you told ’em”. The emphasis was on setting a complete set of expectations through a road map of what would be presented; then clearly and concisely flowing through the information while using the road map as a guide.
I’m 41, which isn’t exactly old, but I often prefer the ‘old ways’ of doing stuff; and ask why they changed. Reaching out to the ‘crazy people’ is a funny undertaking because it’s a label that would almost always seem more suitable for others. Maybe part of the open-mindedness is seeing the craziness in ourselves.
As I read the title of the email from Leo, I thought to myself: “aw I know exactly where this is going!”
Let me explain…
I’m a medical student, currently just finished my 3rd year in Scotland – I have been following Leo since Dec 14. If I have learnt one thing this year, it is this!!
If I now meet someone who is ‘out of the norm’ = who is not like me, I no longer judge… I accept them. And I try to understand THEIR world, which is different from mines. This goes for any patients that I meet or anyone that I meet outside the medical practice too.
This concept is helping me in business also. I can now better understand my team/business partner’s behaviours. Rather than getting frustrated, I now approach them in a different way. A better way. A way in which I can get work done with them; rather than pissing them off.
Oh, and it’s helping me understand my family too.
If there is one skill that an individual can master: ‘Being able to Understand People’ would definitely in my top 5. Remember to understand people, you have to understand their ideas, thoughts and beliefs.
Medic Mo (Glasgow, Scotland)
Jane says: Mate. You have such a limited view of life. You say ‘A person who is high in neuroticism is going to see the world very differently from a person low in neuroticism because your emotions colour the way you see things’.
I have a friend who, in a very short time, lost his dog, his mother, his best friend and his partner. Before that he got shit from work and was dismissed. He is NOT high in neuroticism, he’s just had a shit time in the world. Many have been through that and even a worse load of crap. Does he have to have you pointing at him at the same time saying “oooooh you’re soooo high in neuroticism”. Nuh.
Nicolas says: Great video.
It’s very interesting that you brought up sexual orientation. Ever since I’ve committed to be openminded, I’ve found that as a man, I can see beauty and be attracted to both sexes. I use to think that everybody would be the same if they only opened up their minds but only lately I’ve been doubting that assumption. Because I hold (and still hold to a degree) the sameness model.
Leo, it is possible to hold the sameness model and the difference model at once in a paradoxical way? Because we are all unique snowflakes yet deep down I feel all of us are the same thing.
Leo Gura says: Of course
Elisabeth says: I doesn’t happen to me much when watching Leo’s videos, but this time I thought “eh… this is still simplistic”.
Combating the assumptions of the sameness model is right and good and most of us need it terribly, but what happens, if we replace it completely by “everyone has their own unique reality” … aren’t we neglecting the similarities? The little miracle that with most people we do find a common ground?
I find that models usually have their ideal area of applicability and limits of validity. I wonder where these lie in this case.
Sophie says: Loved this, where is the link to the personality test please?
Leo Gura says: Sorry, I just added it below the video.
Jason Wu says: Leo, you should look into MBTI personality test as well.
MrUnlimetedVacuumSpunge says: Damn this topic was jut what i needed, that shit went straight into my heart-knot and made me cry! I uncovered some suppressed father and passive mother-witness abuse like a month ago trough meditation (nonsexual) It made me go through some serious anger, vengeful thoughts and crying. Two weeks went by where new memories were constantly added. Didn’t hold anything back, i wanted to let it all surface. Now i am finding myself dealing with unconscious ppl by feting into there egos, giving them what they need with a compassionate overbearing look on my face(non faked ofc). I am really hurting for them. And it makes them conscious it seems, making them correct there behavior later in the day.. They regret it and start blaming themselves almost instantly.. Before i would just destroy there egos with an overkill and they would leave me alone, and i would be alone as a certain consequence thereof. I was a master of intimidation and ego destruction.. This video will certainly help me as a reminder to understand and forgive better… Fuck i am becoming a chameleon!! I used to blame these ppl for being kiss-asses!! Guess i was just projecting ha
Well, one of your best videos yet in my opinion.
Whatever you do don’t let the negative Nelly’s in the comments section frustrate you or deter you from what or how you do your work. There’s probably a thousand people who appreciate your work to every one that has a critique on what or how you do your work. The thousand just don’t always take the time to make a comment.
I’m curious if you have have any perspective or opinions on hypnosis as a tool to change “how we think or view or function in the world”. Do you know or have you heard of any cases where it’s helped accelerate change in someone? Or help them to overcome some neagative neurosis? Specifically dealing with clinical depression. Or do you think any the chemical make up of our brain will over ride and suggested thought process hypothesis may offer?
Thanks in advance Leo.
Fred says: Just killed my thought that we are all alike. The only difference is what is on the outside. Skin color, eye color, hair color, where you are from, how you see things makes a difference but only to me. Put yourself in others shoes to see how the world looks like through their eyes. The biggest thing that makes all the same is how we are feeling. Anger, sadness, happiness, loneliness, superiority, inferiority, etc.
Yann says: That’s very useful. Thanks. I’ve begun to apply this “everybody’s fundamentally different” paradigm
Ehsan says: Right after watching this video, I’m experiencing some sort of philosophical confusion/despair. Because what this “difference model” is suggesting is that there’s a valid reason to why all organisms (including human beings) are the way they are and that none of us can judge each other, because judging leads to “labeling”, and that means “not seeing the whole thing as it really is”.
Consequently, if we then completely cut out our “judgings” from our perspectives, we would be left off with a reality in which “good” and “bad” are totally meaningless. Because again, good and bad are just our limited judgments and labeling of things, and not what those things really are. That would ultimately mean that there are no such things as “right” or “wrong” and that these concepts are completely made up by our minds.
If I can’t judge what is right and what is wrong, how can I realize if I’m moving towards positivity or negativity? How can I even try to grow myself if I can’t distinguish between them? How can I be sure if I’m walking in the right path? To hell with being sure, what is the whole point of self-actualization in the first place if there are no such things as right or wrong?! I’m so confused…
Max Gron says: I have another model, most people are similar. I’m about to fit everyone in one simple model: spiral dynamics, the “differences” are beige and blue, red and coral, green and teal. What makes them similar is how a blue person is in agreement with a beige person, eating, drinking, using, wearing, being etc not alike but true to their type, the definition of normal. To act the same is to act on the same structure, the same system. You can certainly be quirky if you change your system and make it different to my system. What it means to be normal is my type: religious, demanding, going out, somewhat introverted, modelled on a wino, cowboy, and derelict.