What's Wrong With Ego?
By Leo Gura - September 12, 2016 | 38 Comments
A list of all the negative consequences of ego
Lachlan says: Hello Leo,
I’m still trying to fully understand this concept. How would for example, experiencing racism be a cause of your own ego?
Thank you,
Lachlan
Leo Gura says: One big aspect of the ego is that it believes it should be treated fairly or well. This of course is untrue, but the ego doesn’t like accepting that.
WingWizard says: Please, please do make a video on this statement Leo.
Lachlan: The ego tells you that you are better than other people. The more “other” alas different the people are the better you are. You are only slightly better than the other people similar to you, but you are truly superior to people very different than you. Thus you will assume that white people for example are better than people of color. Likewise people of color are also racists, at least in countries where they are the norm.
Sevi says: Thank you very much Leo, I love you. This video and the related videos are very helpful. What are the titles of the ones which explain spiral dynamics? I couldn’t find them.
Peter says: The Grand Model of Psychological Evolution
glavo says: god bless this man
outsidian says: Science bless this man XD
Tom says: I need more a pecifics about how it operates
Tom says: Sortof understand but need examples that explain how it worksx
But you do realize that if you spend your life without ego people will think less of you, will not want to marry you and this will greatly effect your self esteem and may cause problems like depression.
Anonymous says: What you said is exact opposite of what happens at egoless state
John says: He also missed the point that living without ego removes the need for any of those things and will still be a fulfilling lifestyle due to connection with the authentic self
WingWizard says: Could you make an episode addressing the issue of past wrongs that someone has done to you and the subsequent vindictiveness that arises due to it?
nay says: hello Leo!!I love your videos,am I will buy your life purpose course when I got a job.I am from Spain and I am unemployed for a long time,is this cause of my ego also?or is because Spain is in a very bad situation?I am reading to make incomes for my own through pasive incomes but I have not been able yet.The truth is that I would like to live in Los Angeles or New york and be a great actress there,but thinking that spanish people there ,are like shit I have not been able to move there and have a try…is this product of my ego?or is the sad reality?because I dont see a lot of spanish women having success in hollywood…apart from Penelope Cruz…other thing that I would like you to speak in your videos is about childhood,what if your mother abandoned you?what are the consequences in your future relationships,job and so on..greetings for your help!!I would like to meet you in person,I have 32 years and you? blessings
Jayant says: Leo,
Firstly, Thank you for the video.
Okay, you have spoken about negative consequences of ego.That’s fine.
But I think that in the journey of knowing the truth with ‘T’ , we must not bifurcate the reality.
Reality is just as it is.We cannot label it as good or bad.Ego is also part of nature.It has helped humanity survive since its existence.It is in nature of human beings.
Eugene says: Very good! Leo
I remembered a book, “ego hunger and aggression.” F.Pearls; when you were talking about the ego. Also another; by Erica Fraom, “Love is Letting Go of Fear.” Some say the ego is the Devil I don’t believe there is a real thing called the ego in the brain; it’s more like a shadow self the persnel person creates to replace the real person that is not love and accepted.
Gene. Which is also what you said.
neil byrne says: very good video
Gene says: I’d love to see you do a video on narcissism.
Narcissists have the nastiest of egoes.
Jacob says: Hi im jake, leo i think you are really brilliant and i respect what you are doing. I go through alot it’s a struggle every day for me, however it would be 100 times worse if had not found your content. I would love to meet you you someday. Do you do one on one sessions?
Hey Leo,
Is it true that the ego can be very high in some areas of our lives and we are not yet aware of that which causes bad results with ourselves, nevertheless we create great results in those areas where the ego is on the lowest level?
Ana, Love from Montenegro
Yk says: Hi Leo,
How do I let go of my ego and self judgement?
I’ve found this is the biggest hurdle in my journey.
Some people say to love yourself and others.
Eckhart Tolle says to be present (not thinking so much).
I find it’s very hard on a consistent basis to do this as I tend to be auto-piloted by negative emotions or thoughts (thinking too much).
What would you suggest?
Thank you!
Tom says: “in the end what we’ve got is we’ve got a very interconnected ecosystem that we’re living in.”
Tom
Maria Antunes says: The first video I saw of “Actualized” you speak about the Maslow scale of needs and I guess the name of your site isn’t random and has some relation to the top level of this scale.
One thing I have been thinking of is that according to Maslow you have to achieve the lower levels to get to the top. I have a hard time grasping all the idea of ego if the lower levels keep pulling me to them, how can I get to the top without some netting on the physical and safety, self-preservation is right there. So I’m currently thinking: how I can get to the self-actualization without it? And, am I not being egotistic by wanting to climb that ladder?
sue says: Leo, that would mean that ego is also responsible for telling someone you love them too? and living without your ego means you could not share of yourself unless asked of, and your response to that would come from ego? and without ego you would be… invisible?
How do you walk in the world and be apart of life, family, love without ego?
What would we look like without ego? Emotionless?
Thanks for the thought provoking video
stephanie says: I’ve discovered when I let go of my ego, or not give in, I become distant from the world. For example in social situations. What do you do when you are with people who chit chat about stuff, and it’s stuff you can no longer relate to and don’t see a point talking about. I tend to get silent and silence is being interpreted as not participating, disinterested. What do you do? Do you accept this fact or do play another game and fake interest aka love other people?
We all have hardwired within us, a personal safety monitor known as The Ego. The ego is like a little voice of reason who likes to manipulate our thinking in order to help us avoid what it sees as turbulence in our lives. The problem with the ego is, it hasn’t evolved with the times. It didn’t realize the saber tooth tiger went extinct and most of us can now travel to the supermarket for food. It’s an outdated tool, but it’s so integrated in our being, we have to make an intentional effort to overcome its influence. To ignore the ego is to allow it to control your life.
Anonymous says: The result of being aware of your ego is scary. I notice this all the time. The fact that my anxiety led me to forget to finish a task in my supermarket job, which prompted a woman to stop her cart abruptly because I was coming back into the store, which caused her child to bump her head on the edge of her cart, which caused her to cry…so on and so forth.
I feel that at some point the pendulum will have some stability, and fall in the middle. Is this right, Leo?
And the whole concept of ego is counter-intuitive, like a lot of things in your videos. I feel that in the ego there is an intrinsic motivation to make one realize that they need self-development work. I feel some ego is good in this perspective. Too much becomes obsessive. Is this more or less what you were getting at, Leo?
Leo Gura says: The way I define ego, no amount of it is good. Ego = delusion. The name of the game is to remove all delusion until nothing remains.
Darlene says: Hi Leo,
I appreciate all your work and helping us to become better. I need help to think outside the box. I did listen to a few of your videos and maybe I missed it or only got part of it. Can you help me analyze the point of the ego?
I don’t get why we have the ego first of all. Survival techniques for cave man days? Why is it mostly negative and not automatically positive? Hereditary or environmental? It is so exhausting too.
Thank you
Leo Gura says: Without ego, Darlene cannot exist!!! Literally!
Darlene wasn’t born. Darlene had to be architected — carved out of reality through artificial distinction between self, other, and world. It was a massive feat of psychological engineering to create this sense that you are real! The architect created the illusion of herself unwittingly. And now she’s starting to develop some wit, just barely enough wit to suspect that she might have created herself from out of thin air
Darlene is like Mickey Mouse starting to suspect he’s just a cartoon! Oh no! What will he do?
Lin says: Wow, insanely great video and insight.
I am in tears
After election, this is solely needed–many people are in the fear/survival mode, they voted based on these fear and Orange mode!
Thanks!
Matt says: Dear Leo,
I can’t help but notice that the ideas that you share in this video seem very similar to some of the teaching of Buddhism (namely The Four Noble Truths). In fact I suspect that Buddhism may have been one of the sources from which you drew these ideas. Would you say that the study or practice of Buddhism can aid in the journey of self-actualization and liberation from ego? Are there any books, videos, or other resources relating to Buddhism that you would recommend?
Thanks for the great video.
The most important book to get rid of ego is “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. He lost his ego by accident but then he started teaching others how to let go of it.
When it comes to Zen/Buddhism you rather need to practice meditation than to read books about it.
There is another non-Buddhist book about dropping the ego called Diana, Herself though. It’s really the closes thing you can depict ego-loss in a book IMHO.
Laura varley says: Leo. I understand this concept. Have you done a video on 5he next stage – letting go of ego ?
Rrgards Laura
Max Raoy Gron says: I made some correlations to your twisted definition of “ego” and found out my ego’s not the problem, the real problem is a self-image problem, the ego’s not an evil thing, I have an ego and I’m happy for it, I just didn’t create an identity yet.
Max Raoy Gron says: I took a look at my ego and found out my lack of perfection seems to be damaging other people’s happiness, I don’t know whether to drop the ego or simply drop the wrong ego or my anti-perfectionism. I bloody well hope not, anti-perfectionism is medically normal and healthy, and whether I know it or not I’ll drop the ego.
Max Gron