Understanding Emotions - Part 1
By Leo Gura - May 4, 2015 | 182 Comments
What emotions are, how they work, and how to control them.
Tjumndi says: Great video! So, what are your thoughts on EFT? (Emotional freedom technique)
I really think it helped me to get calm. Or is it just a waste of time?
Leo Gura says: Haven’t tried it
SoundPoint says: I have tried EFT for a while but now I use FasterEFT (EFT in FasterEFT stands Emotionally Focused Transformations unlike Emotional Freedom Therapy) with success. I am happy that the Sedona Method is mentioned and find that it works too.
John says: when are you going to release part 2 of this video?
just test Leo Gura says: Test 23
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dimitri says: EFT is good because you talk about your negative emotions. It means that you want to face them. usually people want to run away from them so when you face them you have a better chance to release them and feel better because they are like a big baggage to carry.
yuri 
Nick says: Just one point, I believe you don’t want to control emotions..and you can’t really. You are better off experiencing them. If you do try to control them, they get suppressed and come out in other ways. Of course you can change your environment etc and change your state in the future.
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Katy says: Dear Leo,
This is an amazing video. I am really grateful for having the possibility to watch this. Thank you so much for creating this and making people aware. It is actually strange that society does no teach us emotional awareness and that we can be numb about them.
Have a nice day,
K
Leo Gura says: Cool, thanks!
jimmy yadav 
WingWizard says: I have interacted with several people, worked on myself heavily and struggled a lot in this journey to improve. One of the most fatal flaws I’ve encountered in myself and other people is Neediness. Neediness of another person in your life for fulfillment. Why is there this need? Can you explain something about this? I hope you can make a video on it.
Leo Gura says: Probably because you lacked love or approval in childhood. Or you had some traumatic events relating to this in childhood.
Neediness occurs because you’ve felt seriously deprived of something in the past, and so now you NEED it! You see the thing as a scarce resource.
WingWizard says: All of your work, is exceptional.
John says: Love this video very much
Sandy says: Love the video!
Great stuff, as always. Thanks for the exercise. I’m going to use these records as metrics of my life situation.
Ivan Stoyanov says: Nice video Leo. There is nothing one thing that I don’t quite get though. What is the evolutionary purpose of depression? If emotions help us stay alive, how to is depression accomplishing this purpose? As far as I know depression can very well help someone end his/her life rather than preserve it. I am confused on this one.
Nayr says: I went through a period of depression where I rather just wanted to stab a kitchen knife in my stomach than to go through what I went through.
But now that that period has passed, I think I won’t get down to that level again.
So maybe depression is a test and if you pass it, it’s supposed to make you stronger.
Ivan Stoyanov says: Depression might be a way of your subconscious telling you that something is wrong with your life. Your subconscious delivers emotional pain to your mind the same way and your nervous system delivers physical pain to your body. Both types of pain are for purpose of self-preservation, warning you of threat, danger, etc. The way we act on and interpret each type of pain however is different. Most people never look out to address the underlying issue behind their emotional pain. Instead they try to numb it by alcohol, anti-depressants, drugs, etc. When it doesn’t work they become desperate and decide that death the only salvation.
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Leo Gura says: It’s a coping mechanism. It preserves the self-identity.
Also notice that not every emotional response maximizes one’s survival and fitness in modern society. Depression is largely a creation of modern society. Just like obesity. Evolution hasn’t had time to adapt to the way modern humans live.
Elton says: but isn’t being modern mean that evolution has taken place ? evolution hasn’t had time to adapt to the way modern human’s live ??? what does that mean ?
Craig Clayton 
janet says: Wow! Leo love your video! wrote all the stuff down so l will practise this! So much work, just on emotionals but really good one leo! bravo! just love recieving yr videos , re listen to them again and again and practise your stuff too!
emotionals very powerfull stuff !
Thank you Leo and cant wait to see more of you video’s
jimmy yadav 
Thanks Leo. Your easy-to-understand videos about mindfulness and meditation have helped me control some bad habits of mine and really start to think possitive again.
friend 
neil byrne says: hi, I jut realised as I watched this video how bad of shape I am in and how much work I need to do. Do you think listening to heavy metal music is a bad idea because maybe it makes it more hard to be calm and peaceful and maybe because it feeds my anger and depression or do you think it doesn’t make any difference and I can and should keep listening to this type of music?
Elton says: nothing is good or bad , but thinking makes it so , use heavy metal just as a way to relieve your stress by headbanging and enjoy the heavy riffs and forget about it , don’t take the lyrics too seriously or you can stop for some time , listen to instrumental classical music or any other genres and then after few months if you wish then you can come back to heavy metal , but don’t take it too seriously ..
Jonna says: Another Great Video Leo! I’ve literally listened to this video several times a day for two days straight. I watched your Mindfulness video previously and plan on reviewing as all your suggestions and information provided have been well worth my time and effort. Your video’s, with the help of my husband, has been the stepping stone I needed to propel myself to the next level of emotional awareness and personal development.
I sincerely Thank You for sharing your gift of knowledge as you too progress through this life!
Gaman nkmalu says: that’s nice
James says: Great video! After a day practicing i realized that most of the time i don’t even know what i feel exactly even if i pay attention. I wanted to ask if you are planning to cover (at least briefly) the whole range of emotions (i am talking about the 50 items that each list has) or if you can suggest a place that i can read more about that.? Thank you very much and keep up the good work!
asdfasd Elton says: Hey Leo , the reason i was lead into actualized.org was because of rejection from a girl , i have tried the exercise for a week the one in which you change your thoughts , it helped for a while but i just cannot seem to get this girl out of my mind i’m doing meditation for a week now for 20 min daily and i have written down my life purpose and am quite clear about it , i’ve watched all your videos on relationships and dating and am reading books on female psychology too , it seems to me that when i was attending college and interacting with other girls i didn’t think much about her , but now that we have holidays i catch my self always feeling bad because of not having this girl in my life … I want to be free from this emotions even when i’m not doing anything, i’m mindful to these emotions and its cause distress , am i just attracted towards her because she doesn’t need me or is this true love ? after learning attraction i think i’ve become even more needy because i find myself trying to attract many many females anywhere ..
Elton says: and also I’ve gone from being the nice guy ; the people pleaser to being the asshole and I am trying to adopt the concept of not needing anyone or anything to fulfill me all this felt great for sometime but guess what … my friends don’t talk to me the way they used to, I feel so lonely now a days I’ve quit cigarettes , social networking sites , t.v. , and even meeting my friends that i would do daily but now that void feels bigger then ever…
Leo Gura says: You’re trying to solve these issues too superficially. You have to go deeper inside and look for the underlying issues in your psyche, not just act an asshole or act cool or whatever. How you act is just a symptom of what’s going on inside. Externals aren’t really the issue. It’s what’s inside you that’s the issue.
So look deeper and work on that. Realize that attracting girls or friends or money doesn’t solve anything of substance. All your inner issues will basically be the same no matter what you acquire or fail to acquire.
Elton says: so how do I work on my inner issues ?? on trying to interpret the symbols of my dreams ? or to take medicine from a psychiatrist ? or should I keep on asking myself why am I feeling like that ? what is this state of mind that I am experiencing called ? depression ???
Elton says: and i don’t act like an asshole or act cool its just that people who are completely independent of the good or bad opinion of others and love to be confident are called as assholes here…
Elton says: aaaaaaaa meditation and enlightenment …
Leo Gura says: This entire site is about giving you ideas and techniques for doing inner work. Follow the clues.
Thanks says: 1.My family is offended at me for watching PD videos, RSD videos, meditating, paradigms on women. There my family but they keep trying to snag me into tradional beliefs.
2.They think any of my pesstimistic behavors have something to do with taking your advice they keep telling me to stop wating those videos or stop meditating that’s ricdiculous.Why do they object me doing this?
3.i know thse trad. views are b.s yet theres a part of me that wants to beleave the Bullshit.
What would be the best strategy to do right now?
Elton says: 3 that might be resistance your mind is offering because you are changing the way you think from the traditional way to the more logical way 2 they object you because their ego is threatened they think that the values they give you , you should accept them and not others views because the ego tricks them to believe that they are right and you are wrong… The best strategy to do right now is to be independent of the good or bad opinion of others ; and independent of the good and bad option of your mothers and if your not sure then go ahead believe the bullshit the choice is yours .. but you already know its bullshit so why would you want to believe that ?? always be aware about the resistance …
Leo Gura says: Family often objects the most to you changing because they see you in a certain way. If you change, now they have to change to deal with the new you, and they don’t like change. Most people are afraid of change!
Just keep doing what you feel is right. Change isn’t easy.
Wayne says: Awesome work Leo, a question too,
As we are busy introspecting our emotional experiences, journalling, and not allowing the opinions of others deter us. How can one explain (in a nice way) to someone that, their emotional reactions are entirely their own. Some people (spouces, bosses, others) expect a behaviour from us , and exert emotional triggers and cues to get what they want.(kind of manipulation). any ideas ? .. maybe journal those too , ha ha. ?
Elton says: Can i share my experience ? I’m sharing it anyways.. my professor in college yelled at me in-front of many people in a very very insulting way; i would normally get angry or would even cry but since I’ve been working on my emotions i realized the emotion was anger , i let go of the emotion quickly and replied to him in a calm manner and in a moment he was calm too .. and the way you act depends on what goes on inside , so + affirmations and self hypnosis also helps and when situations take place the act becomes automatic, once you are grounded in your values and principles no one can manipulate you because you know what you are and no one can make you feel anything … The greed , the envy , the hatred and the insecurities are the central modes of control !
Elton says: to make someone understand this you have to keep giving them examples of their lives or maybe even yours and make them realize, i would suggest you do this only to really special people in your life because it takes a lot of effort to do so.
johny says: Thank Leo
kumar says: test
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johny says: Love this video
Sup says: 1.thers a void in my ego that makes me needy for attention and approval like a homelss guy in the backe of my head going GIVE ME SOMETHING which repulses alot of people especially girls.
2.So do i just meditate it away or mak so many fukups until an established nietch?
3.i broke my phone so how am i gonna do game?
Vy Nguyen says: I cannot just believe that all of this amazingly encouraged informative helpful message is delivered freely. I am so thankful of your work Leo. It helps me a lot a lot.
Elton says: Even I didn’t believe this at first but this is the state in which you would want to be in …. selfless . Give things of true value to the world and forget about it but when you receive something always be thankful .. Thanks Leo even I will take this opportunity to thank you
johny says: Thanks leo
John says: How did you change the profile picture?
Elton says: Vy …. how did you put the profile pic ?
johny says: Same Question is here about profile pic
Eelco says: Leo,
I am writing down my emotion every 3 hours and now am confused about emotion, mood, level of energy and motivation. What is the difference or relation between the 4?
Eelco says: BTW there is a complete list on 3rd picture: hootlessDOTcom/forum/topics/precious-releasing-things-and
Lucas Lim says: i can’t find understanding emotion part 2… can i know where to get it?. tqvm
Elton says: wait for it …
leelee says: Interesting. What is it that I find interesting?
It’s interesting that in 46 minutes I hadn’t heard you say that emotions come from thoughts.
One doesn’t need to do anything but to look to the nature of thought.
One doesn’t need to do anything but to understand that one is living in the feeling of their thought each moment.
Leo Gura says: Emotions and thoughts inter-mix. They both influence each other like two celestial bodies pull on each other through gravity. So it’s not always accurate to say that emotions are caused by thoughts.
leelee says: And what if it is true that feeling comes from thought? That we live our life from the inside out? There’s something known as the three principles of the psychology of mind. Mind-Consciousness-Thought. By looking at and understanding the nature of these three principles, one comes to lead a calmer and happier life. Check it out.
Phil says: Hi,
I’ve been reading the Art of Rhetoric by Aristotle and half way through it there’s a great section on emotions. This video and that book are great together. I’m not saying you’re up there with Aristotle yet but you have to start somehwere
Cheers,
Phil!
Michael says: What is the name of your model for categorising emotions? Is it part of the sedona method?
Eelco says: Michael, search Google images “Sedona Emotions” then you will find the Emotions Chart they use(d) in 1991 in Sedona Method courses. It matches Leo’s categories: hootlessDOTcom/forum/topics/precious-releasing-things-and
Michael says: Thanks!
Simeon says: Great video. Shines a lot of sunlight into shades.
thank you for this information . I am finding that I shut down when watching and completely disconnect , only to be energized an hour or a day later . When I re watch the video it sinks in and the void is not as distant . I thank you for the information you give in areas that are difficult to describe or pinpoint for counsiling . thank you Thom
Mariano says: Great video.
Which books would you recomend for mastering emotions?
Elton says: hey Leo , you were right …. i realized that when the alarm goes i hardly have a clue of the emotions i’m going through even though i thought i was a very emotional person i can’t identify much just very very vague ideas like inspired , sleepy , little bit of anxiety …
Katia says: Hi Leo, great video. One thing for exercise is not clear though: Do i observe my emotions and try to identify the origin of it? Or just write down what I feel without spending time of thinking about the ‘Why’?
Michael says: According to a book by Ayya Khema, you should try to find the source of emotions, you will find they are due to a sense contact and find that you don’t need to believe your emotions anymore.
The book is ‘Who Is My Self’ by Ayya Khema, I would highly recommend it.
Nat says: Yep, emotions are the intermediate messenger between the basic instincts and a call to action.
Phil says: Leo, how am I suppose to do the exercise if I’m unable to categorize each emotion I’m feeling? I tried doing the exercise today but ended up frustrated. When I tried evaluating my emotions I was unable to determine what exactly they were, what exactly I was feeling. Now I’m not talking about the obvious emotions like anger or joy I’m talking about the more subtle ones that I feel when, for example, I’m on autopilot from work.
Thanks for the videos I really enjoy them.
Leo Gura says: Weeeelll…. What do you know!!! You’ve discovered that you lack consciousness! Congrats! Welcome to mindfulness practice!
Come back and voice your complaint after you’ve practiced it for 40 years and you still struggle to resolve emotions
Samir says: Leo,
What are some ways to tune different emotions?
I think music can is the best way to tune our emotions . Don’t you think?
Kat says: I think exercise is good way.
aleks says: If the external situation can be considered and event, can you emotion itself be considered as event ?
Samir says: Is it possible to develop EQ?
Kaz says: Yes. See Leo’s video on Emotional Intelligence.
Also, daily meditation is integral to developing EQ.
asima says: Leo
I lovvve this video; I thought emotions were automagical .. but you brought my attention to pre-emotion and pre-reaction logical part/reasoning into light.. that’s what helps a lot understanding your own anger, happiness and perhaps will help control reaction.
Hengame says: Great Subjekt, I enjoyed it, thank you Leo
Diane says: After years of studying mindfulness, life coaching, the law of attraction and energy (through reflexology and reiki) and even achieving diplomas that would enable me to practice in these fields if I so desired, I am in no way fulfilled or at peace. And I am in no way inspirational enough to preach any of what I have learned to others. A huge confusion ran through me in that I believe in it but I can’t (or won’t) practice it. Then I came across you, just yesterday, and you switched something inside of me on that made me begin to see where my problems might lie. I have a very long way to go but I simply want to thank you for your straight talking, for cutting through the bullshit, for simplifying previously confused areas and for being able to talk to the hearts & souls of normal everyday people like myself.
Leo Gura says: It’s not possible to be fulfilled without enlightenment. You are fundamentally confused about what you are. From this deep existential falsehood stems all suffering and dissatisfaction.
Theory is woefully insufficient here. You have to directly experience that who you think you are is a complete fabrication of the mind.
You could implement every theory and self-help technique in the world, and it will still not make you fulfilled unless you discover what you are.
Diane says: Tough talking but so true
Paula says: <3 yah it’s good
justme says: The worst part is that i have no idea what i am feeling…sometimes i know i feel bad but i have no idea why and what kind of feeling it is
Tian says: I heard grit is also super important for success
Kevin says: Leo, i stumbled across your site recently by pure chance or fate or both. Thanks so much man, I am really enjoying your vids, and from today i will start the implementation.
Kevin
kevster says: Isn’t some therapy just counter productive, because they insist in treating BAD emotions like social anxiety and depression’.
These fundamental assumptions about these emotions are implicitly considered bad and something to ‘get rid’ of. Therefore, a psychologist for instance, only reinforcing the thought about the emotion? Unless he states there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are perfectly Oke. Do not even try to get rid of these emotions. Look at what they tell you.
Isn’t it partly a cultural aspect that we live in a culture of individualism and status that breeds these kinds of assumptions about social anxiety and depression and creates a form of toxic shame when you even experience these?!
However, my social anxiety etc. is a result of childhood emotional abandonment. I aware when it happens, Yet I want to get ‘rid of it’.
But I have been thinking about your enlightenment videos. If that is true, it means this whole social anxiety is a fiction? Something I bought into. Though I suffer from it. haha. this is very tough to see.
thx in advance,
Kev
Shwetha srinivas says: Hey Leo!!
I was wondering is there a continuation video for this one, part 2?? i searched it here but couldn’t find.
pls let me know if its already there or isn’t shot yet.
Ivan Stoyanov says: Leo, when are you going to release part 2 of this video?
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ILAN says: Hi Leo,
Thank you for sharing your research, thoughts and ideas via video.
You certainly have a way of demystifying complex concepts and and presenting them in a way that people can understand and identify with.
Understanding emotions part 1 is excellent. I found it most interesting and helpful.
Keep up the good work. You are making a huge positive difference in people’s lives.
ILAN
Leo Gura says: YYYYYYY
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Daniel says: I am looking forward to Part 2!!!