How To Change Your Life

By Leo Gura - January 24, 2014 | 13 Comments

The critical ideas you must understand to start getting results, creating lasting change in your life.

Video Transcript

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Hey, this is Leo for Actualized.org. In this quick self-help segment, we are going to talk about how to change your life.

This is a deep passion of mine. That’s why I founded Actualized.org. I wanted to help people change their lives because that’s the position that I was in five years ago.

I was struggling and trying to figure out how I could change my life and set it up and design it in such a way that I’m always happy and not dealing with all of this fear, anxiety, and negative emotions and that I’m out there and financially secure and have everything that I want in my life and just living an awesome and exciting life.

How do I get that? How do I go from this mediocre life that I have now to this supercharged life that I know I can have and that I see other people having and that I know I’m capable of getting into?

The problem for me was that I didn’t know the techniques or have any friends who had done that. I wondered if it was even possible. That was always on my mind.

Now, after I’ve made this journey of studying over $100,000 of personal development material and after making all of these radical changes in my life – from starting a business, becoming financially independent, moving all across the country, improving my dating life dramatically, improving my fitness dramatically, losing a lot of weight and keeping it off, improving my mindsets, and getting myself to think more positively – it’s shown me that it’s possible.

Right now, we live in an information era where there are information products that will help you change your life in any way that you want. They’re not overhyped. All of these changes are real and they’re actually possible.

The only question is whether or not you are going to work the program and go out there and take the question and decide that you want to do this. Are you going to shell out some money to buy the programs that you need or the books and get the help that you need? Are you going to go out there and capitalize on these opportunities?

I think that the most amazing thing is that people don’t realize that this is out there for them. Literally, right now, you can create and become whoever you want.

That doesn’t mean that you can fly to the moon, but it does mean that whatever career you want to master, you can do. Whatever kind of relationship you want, you can get it. Whatever kind of family life you want, you can get it. Whatever changes you want to make to your beliefs and to any past trauma that is holding you back, you can make all of those changes.

However good you want to make yourself feel, like proud, optimistic, or excited, you can do that. However much travel you want to do, you can do that. However much money you want to make, you can make.

All of this is available to you. The tools are actually available to you. You do have to go out there and look and you have to follow certain principles to do this successfully.

These are the principles of success. They’re also the principles of change because success, in a lot of ways, is how to make great changes and make sustainable changes.

What happens is that most of us are not lucky enough to be born successful and to be in the kinds of situations that we want to be in for our whole lives. We usually start off struggling. We don’t know where we’re going. We grow up in a negative environment with limiting beliefs and friends and family who are not supportive.

What happens is that we feel stuck and we feel like there can be something better. We don’t know that there are certain principles that can be followed. Changes are necessary. By the process of making changes, you create this exciting life.

How do you actually do this? I’m going to just give you some practical ways. This is a deep topic and I’m going to cover it in other videos on my site.

To create change, you have to find out what it is that you want. You have to be clear about what you want. If you don’t know what you want, you will not get it. You will weave around life like this, back and forth, and you will be running around life like a chicken with its head cut off.

You have to get clear about what it is that you want. You have to articulate it. Be specific about what your goals are.

Why do you want it? Create a vision for yourself. Once you have that down, the rest is just a matter of time and a little bit of hard work. You have to be clear about who you are or what you want and what your purpose in life is and what your vision is. That’s understanding yourself.

Then you want to set some goals. Set some bold goals for yourself. If who you want to be and what your values are are not aligned with what your life is like now, then that means that you need some change to get you there. To do that, you need some goals.

What are you goals? What are specific things that you want to accomplish in the next year, and the next five years, and the next 10 years? Sit down and make a list and then think about it and then visualize it.

Ask yourself, “Is this what I want? Maybe I would prefer this or maybe that?” Through this process of introspection and journaling, create a nice, specific list of goals. That’s important.

Then you’re going to have to go out there and take action on these goals. There’s no way to avoid that. You can have all of the mindsets and all of the knowledge that you want, but you’re going to have to, in the end, go out and do some hard work and apply some elbow grease to the problem and actually get these things to happen. That’s going to be an unavoidable aspect of getting any change in your life to happen.

One point that I want to stress in this whole process is that the important part actually is the psychology. It’s the inner game that you have with regards to change. Most people try to make change in their life, but they’re not able to sustain it and they fall back to the place that they started at.

The reason that happens is because they don’t understand that they need to change their inner game before they get sustainable change in the external world. The inner game is your beliefs, your mindsets, your ways of thinking, your emotional control over yourself, your discipline level, and any mental techniques like visualizations and affirmations.

That’s what I mean when I talk about inner game and you need to have those things dialed in before you can get a change like losing a lot of weight and keeping it off, or earning a million dollars and keeping a million dollars, or finding a good relationship and maintaining that relationship.

Notice that when you’re asking about making a sustainable change. Nobody cares about making a one-time change and then plopping back down the next day. Nobody wants to have a million dollars for a day and then lose it. Nobody wants to drop 50 pounds for a week and then lose it. Nobody wants that. You want to make a sustainable change.

Very few of us think about change in a sustainable way. Few of us use strategies that are sustainable. This is true with diets, pursuing money, and relationships.

You have to ultimately bite the bullet on this one and buy into the concept of self-mastery. Your success and your ability to change come, ultimately, from your mastery of your own emotions and your own psychology.

That means studying what that is like. That means understanding yourself on a deep level regarding what are the things that do create change and what are the things that don’t create change.

How do you self-sabotage? How do you think in negative ways that keep you from getting to the place that you want to get to? How are old beliefs limiting you and holding you back? How is old conditioning and training from childhood, perhaps, holding you back?

You have to fix that stuff to make sustainable changes.

You have to know some techniques, too. How do you set proper goals? How do you create a vision? How do you create a personal mission statement? What are your values?

These are all important to understand because if you don’t understand these, which are the fundamentals of success, then you’re not going to be able to have success in any area of your life. When I say you won’t have success, that means that you won’t have any real, positive, lasting change.

I’m going to wrap it up there, but because this is what Actualized.org is about and it’s the core of it, I’m going to send you to check out my personal development blueprint which covers 100 of the greatest personal development concepts of all time.

We cover all of these concepts that I talk about and dozens more. These are the most important things that you need to know to be able to create change and success in your life.

It’s everything from understanding how to find your life purpose, identify your values, and get all of the inner game into place to make you extraordinarily successful. We’re going to put you in the top one percent of every person who doesn’t know this stuff. Most people just are not taught how this stuff works.

Check that out right now. It’s free. It’s found at Actualized.org/blueprint.

Of course, I want to hear your comments. So, please, drop me some comments here. “Like” this and share this and subscribe to my newsletter which is also on Actualized.org. There you’re going to be able to get more video advice and articles like this that I publish every week for free. This will help you create the change that you want in your life.

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Comments
(13)
Michael says:

Fabulous insight
Thank you as always

Ashray says:

I have been listening and reading your vlog and transcript, touching every topic of life. I eat a lot junk food, a bit spoiled you can say. For past 2-3 days I kinda feel bad, almost disgusted, me eating junk food is slowly getting less. Is it my mind following you too narrow mindedly or am I getting mentally prepared or neither, then what? Or is it just a mood swing.

Joanne says:

Thank you. Just for the simple fact of saying ‘it is possible’. I think I’ll hang out with your youtube videos for a while until I find more open minded people to hang out with.

Jennifer says:

I appreciate you mentioning the foundation making of real change. I tend to watch whatever video of yours appeals to me on any given day and get amped about it but only implement changes for a day or two. I think I overwhelm myself by wanting to address too many facets of my life all at once instead of focusing on one or two things at a time. Additionally, maybe starting with the foundational things like emotion regulation would be the most effective. I’m more used to living in the here and now so setting goals is all new to me. Having a roadmap of what to master in what order would probably help me since I always feel like I don’t even know where to begin. Anyway, thanks for the inspiration Leo! Do you ever have presentations anywhere in person?

AMORIO says:

hey Leo.

Taking in consideration my childhood, the social rank of my family, its income . We were a poor family. But the thing I’m always happy about is what my father told us in every harder time the family experienced ” TRY TO KEEP IN MIND THAT I BRING MONEY FROM THE FIRE”. That’s a popular saying.

My father adds: LOOK AT MY HANDS ARE VERY HARD WITH HARD WORK, I WANT TO SSE YOUR HANDS SOFT, BE AWARE TO STUDY FOR A GOOD SUSTAINABLE LIFE”.

This make me studying regularly with the aim to change my parents life and see them living with me their old dream.
After the junior high school, the high school the university. I found a job and the dream is a reality we lived togegher.
And from time to time I show my hands to my father and told him ” look father my hands are soft he begged me to kiss them and in my turn I told him ” don’t forget father you have the hands of the bravest man in the world and I kiss them”.

sure:

– You have to figure out what you want. Make it clear to you.
– Develop a strategie leading to a sustainable change.
– From time to time check your road map.

THANKS LEO FOR YOUR WORLD WIDE HELP.

Excuse me for my simple English.

AMORIO.

rachael says:

What video talks about the principals of changing our lives..i am socially retarded..i am good looking but i still dont get the guys i want plus im studying dentistery that i have no passion for and i really feel stuck there..because if i quit i will have nothing else to do you know

Wendy Boode says:

Leo,
I cannot even begin to verbalize how grateful I am to have discovered actualized.org and I am hyper motivated to start this amazing process you’ve turned me on to.
Thank you so much, your insights and teaching have made a huge difference in my life already, and I have only just begun (1 month in).

Max Raoy Gron says:

What I want is to change back to what I used to be, at 26 years old, as a patriot, subjectivist, normal guy, structuralist, pessimist, kingist, botanist, bacteriologist, rational guy, selfish guy and antitheist. Almost all of this is the way I used to be, I can be like that by listening to Human Nature as a man band, Austrian Death Machine, black metal music, cha cha, limbo, Kraftwerk, techno music, Detroit Grand Pubahs, one hit wonders, soul music, jazz music, classical music, and Beck and then it’s authentic.

Max Raoy Gron says:

I know how my old beliefs (like antitheism) were holding me back, I’m not getting back to that very belief that Christians think is evil, of all my beliefs, one of them has been Puritanism, and I know how it’s believed, it’s believed by dropping disbelief, and dropping disbelief in God, and by believing in the moderate puritanical ways, like a dress code, and a diet, and the way I drink alcohol, and smoke, that’s how you believe in that religion of Lawrence Chaderton, so converting to that belief was the change I made, careful to question disbelief in God, careful to believe in God and make sure I’m a true believer, even though true can be lied of its definition because truth is loyalty, truth is what’s genuine, it took me a long time not to disbelieve in Christianity, from a few months ago, so the antitheism is dead, and the other thing I did, I became a conservative liberal, and a philosopher of convention, it’s not just my beliefs, it’s how I live my life, e.g. as with my 25-year-old identity, and I know how to be consistent, I’ve been pessimistic, but that’s the 26-year-old me, not 25, I also learned over the years to be Kierkegaardian, therefore I decided to make the change not to eat pasta or noodles, and to drink Greek-style coffee, and creamy chicken cup soup with lots of noodles, and tuna meals with rice and peas, or vegetarian ones with some kind of peas and soy sauce, I sustained these “changes” for months, as with the development of ready-to-eat meals and some TV dinners, mostly foods and drinks I don’t have to prepare, with the exception of making sandwiches for example, and making coffee, tea, or hot cocoa, and eating muesli or hot oats, that’s how I eat, without drinking cordial, and with drinking Coke and no other fizzy drink other than an energy drink, by not eating anything messy, I’m careful not to eat sandwiches with mayonnaise, mustard or ketchup, and as for diet which has changed, it’s coffee with coconut oil, the goal in mind is to only take my oral medications and not needles, I don’t need needles, and I don’t need things that aren’t enjoyable, I need fun, and therefore need pleasure, nothing else is going to change, I already changed, and I think that’s enough.

Max Gron says:

I know who I am: a fake person, but my life’s not an experiment, only two things are the most authentic, Kierkegaardian and lepidopterology, the rest is what I’m not, but pretending to be these people just to be something, and stand for something, it’s just empty words, my real life is just an ordinary life of not getting out of bed, and drinking coffee in the morning, living a hectic lifestyle, brushing my teeth, for fear of the reality that I’m not doing it, creaming my face with apricot scrub, being a lover of foreign countries for some reason, yes, I’ve been in Africa, but Africa is all in my mind, it’s just a memory, I wanted to erase this savage culture memory with Mauritian curries and Mauritian pancakes, I’m a scientist and the evidence in my writing, what I do not what I believe, hasn’t changed, to be a scientist you have to believe it, otherwise you’ll be cool and not conduct experiments, instead of being cool, not giving a shit, I choose to be a scientist, my life’s already changed since my heart for the study of moths, how do I know about this? I was willing to learn about these beautiful creatures. Scientists sugarcoat their science, flies are supposed to be good for the ecosystem, I don’t believe it, I think we need more butterflies, a breed of fly, in the garden, the lepidoptera and the diptera are related, moths have eyes like a fly, it’s a scientific fact. That was hard to learn because my microscope doesn’t let me see compound eyes.

Max Gron says:

A list of things I want: lepidopterology, Kierkegaardian, being drug-free elsewhere in the the country I’m in, having thousands of dollars being rich to afford it, joining the normal people as distinct from the d’uhbrains I lived with all my life, re-educating myself in healthy eating, eating gourmand hotdogs.

That’s all I want, I’m very clear about this, it’s not as complicated as people think. I call it bullshit to be any other way, I don’t dream of ethnic cuisine, even if I mentioned Mauritian curry and Mauritian pancakes, I don’t want that, I was eating plain foods, like boiled cabbage, kale, cauliflower, broccoli, winter mix veg, peas, black beans, fish, I happen to be a quasi-vegetarian who doesn’t eat chicken, ham, bacon, or beef, gourmet hotdogs contain tomato sauce, don’t kid yourself, fussy people aren’t wanting good food, what they care about is the crap made to please them, they don’t care about fancy stuff like a gourmet or gourmand hotdog, gourmand is better, deep down I want to be a gourmand, just the six things, including the first two beliefs on the above list, is all I want. I don’t actually want a simple unpretentious life, but a life that’s simple and elegant, meaning one music, one eating habit, and one wardrobe. Simple things, very much about one, just being me is less than people think, I’m not so much of a brutal guy, and I’m not always changing, or always arguing, I’m not a lot of things, I’m simple and that doesn’t peak people’s interest, it’s not that complicated.

not evil or wicked says:

Leo’s definitions of words are similar to or seem similar to the clear or simple definitions in a Collins or Collins Gem dictionary, when he says “hectic”, he seems to mean “rushed or busy”, my definition is as simple as that, but my definition of hectic is “feverishly active or excited” as this is the proper definition, it’s not more complicated or fancy definitions like or not that you get on the internet, it’s hard to define, when it can seem to mean, by that definition, that you’re confused or crazy or capricious, and way too busy, in being active or excited, I didn’t know what the feverish meant, but I could’ve reread the dictionary, given my philosophy, religion and wisdom has changed for the better, at the moment I remain a Cavalier, pessimist and lepidopterist, as a scientist, simply for the sake of the truth, which isn’t bloody beautiful but a prison of the right beliefs. That’s the truth, I don’t think the Christians are lying about the foreigner bus-driver in the front seat with his seatbelt on, it doesn’t sound convincing but I bloody well know it’s true, truth simply means “reality”, not necessarily the facts, point being I changed my life & changed it to suit religious and cultish people’s versions of the truth.

Max Gron says:

I had to remind myself to stay lepidopterological and Kierkegaardian, as in one of the above comments, I’m sure I want that, I also want to be more like most people (see “joining the normal people” in comment above), and to engage in reflecting, reflection and pondering more, like I’ve done a long time ago, obviating most experiences (yes I always felt it necessary to obviate experiences). I don’t make up words like I used to, neither perfectionistic nor anti-perfectionistic, I only think the above two are the best beliefs, everything else is false and troublesome.

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